new

first post in my new journal. i spent a lot of yesterday working on it. i’m so obsessive.

i’ve been doing pretty well, overall. my therapist told me i’m doing good and mentioned perhaps changing therapy to every other week. i panicked, of course. i don’t know if i’m ready for that yet. it leaves me scared. later that day i felt depressed and wanted to cut. so much for feeling better. i don’t know what it is. i’ll be vaguely content at times and at others i’ll sink into the depression again. i wonder if i should just go to every other week. would make me look more or less ‘recovered.’ it doesn’t matter much how i feel. it’s strange. less than a month ago i was cutting and feeling suicidal and now i am ‘so much better.’ what the fuck does that mean? i remember last year i was pretty much the same and then it went downhill. ah, i’m so pathetic.

2 Responses to “new”

  1. aww, you’re not pathetic, life’s just a shit hole, but it’s what you make it :) so hang in there.


  2. ((huggles)) I’m so sorry sweetie.


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