it’s been more than a year since i’d last written in this. different domain, different look, different self. i can’t say I’m doing the best i could be doing. i can’t say i’m doing the worst. i’ve decided to go into web design. i’ll minor in it and see where I can go from there. i love making websites, i spend hours and hours of doing nothing but coding and fixing and perfecting websites. i look back on the coding of this site and other sites from years past and shudder. it’s a learning process.
the last time i hurt myself was about a week or so ago. i was in the dark and I cut my breasts. not deep cuts. my mom was asking me if I was doing all right. i had locked myself in my room after an argument of sorts. funny thing is, most of the times i hurt myself are because of arguments. i scream and rave and act bitchy but then i go and cut myself to deal with the actual feelings.
still at the same fucking job. i want to change to someplace else. somewhere i’d be happier.
wonderful thing. i’m majoring in creative writing. i love writing almost more than anything. i write all the time and I’m taking a seminar this semester. it’s fantastic, i love it. just hearing critique and learning from it and being able to better my writing through all the comments and feedback. i thought i’d be depressed by the critique but i haven’t been. i leave class tired but charged. hopeful for being able to become a better writer. my professor is lisa glatt. she’s an amazing poet and short story writer. i’d heard of her prior to the class and had read one of her poetry books. when I signed up for the class i didn’t know she was teaching it. it makes me happy to be able to learn from somebody whose work i’ve seen before and who i respect as a writer. love, love, love everything poetry at this point.
