basically my whole schedule is english-related and it’s wonderful. i get a bit drowsy during ‘survey of english literature’ because the teacher has such a calm voice but i still like it. i love hearing her read the old english and the middle english. it just sounds so different (mostly the old english).
i have yet to speak up in my short stories class though i desperately want to. how do you get past so many years of not speaking a word in classes unless forced to. i just really should let all that go. i’m just afraid of making a stupid point or sounding silly.
i saw my grandmother yesterday. i hadn’t seen her in months so it was nice. my father and his sister are still talking about the family business. apparently her daughters were making new rules, closing hours early, not accepting new business after 11am, etc. remind me that i should never form a business with family. you seem to either be a pushover or a power hungry monster (if you fire the ones slacking off because they know their job is secure). charging the full amount of hours a week even though closing early? sort of crooked, if you ask me. oh, well. it’s their loss because they’re losing customers.
wrote a new poem. it’s a rather short one. not sure if it put it on here. i’m pleased that i finally wrote something new. i was writing about three poems a week last semester. not all good but at least i was writing. a lot of them have stayed in my notebook. if i’m in desperate need of a poem for class i may print them up. i probably won’t have to, though. we’re going to be delving into structured forms. i’ve worked with them before but it’s challenging trying to maintain my ‘voice’ with the rules and sometimes strict meter.
why don’t you speak up in your short story class? i understand if you were shy in the past but writing is something you know well it’s important to get through that barrier of fearing how your work with be recieved. you will write your best if you don’t think about anyone who is reading it. if something does come up and people have problems with it make sure to defend your point but also listen close to what the reader is getting from your work.
hope this helps.
oh, i didn’t mean a short story workshop. we analyze short stories in that particular class. i also talked a couple of times and read last class. the story for that really moved me. just amazing. called ‘river of names’ by dorothy allison.
in my workshop class i speak up if a poem really speaks to me. i’m hesitant about being critical if everybody is praising the poem and i don’t like it (for example, today there was a poem talking about how ‘my life is pain’ and ‘my madness’ and people were talking about how poignant it was. i disliked it because it didn’t show anything, just stated what we were supposed to think).
i’m not sure how i came across your website, but i’m kinda glad i did. this posting is so familiar to me, esp the part about being silent for so long in classes and suddenly being forced to speak. most of my classes are english and i have so many ideas to share, but i end of having mini panic attacks or something. anyway… i can’t wait for your next posting!