if i got any more invisible i might as well not exist. very lonely here in real life. i completely freak out if somone is not home because i get so ansty. i’ll cut myself or hurt myself in other ways so i can get through the alone time. it’s all so strange. i veer between being very cold and loner-type and then just feeling but not being clingy. all i have is my family and i’m afraid what would happen if they were not here. it really frightens me.
i’ve been sick since the start of the week. my voice is scratchy and keeps breaking. i sound terrible. i missed a couple of classes yesterday because i was not feeling well. felt sort of guilty. still do. i just want to get well in time for work.
a girl at school was rather rude to me. i told her i liked a certain story and she rolled her eyes and said, ‘oh god,’ very loudly. i was taken aback because i really try not to cause too many problems and am very shy. talked too much that day. i should just stop talking because nobody wants to listen.
self-pity is rather disgusting.
if you are spending time alone and dont like how it makes you feel, spend time in public places. seems a little less isolated(at least for me).
I’m sure by now you’re feeling better – I hope, at least. Being sick really isn’t much fun. :/
…You shouldn’t speak less, either. You have a lot of valuable things to say. Lots of us are interested in what you’ve got to say, you know. Just tell bitchy people where to go – it feels nice.
Miss you lots. I just got your PM from February today – we got rid of the internet because we’re moving across the country. :/
Hopefully we’ll get to talk soon again.
Take care of yourself.