i'd rather not be. not dead, of course. just in stasis.
is it normal to listen calmly when a person talks of homicide? i was crying earlier but that was just a fluke. too much stress or too little stress is bad for the constitution, don't you know?
i feel absurd. disability was such a big thing and then i got it. i don't care as much as i should, as much as i cared the day he called me and told me. i was so happy. now i just feel blank, like paper.
i need to listen to something. i need to eat. i need to care. my stomach is in knots and my chest hurts and i just want someone to tell me it will be all right. knowing your father literally has a hundred knives ready for a certain someone isn't really that fucked up. except that's just bullshit but it won't matter until that person is dead. i don't think he'll do it. i don't.
haha your dad wants to kill you! maybe if you stop expecting people to love you for what you are youd understand that it isnt so strange. hollywood cliches haha parents are like any other ppl u see too bad if thats not what u belive. dont get me wrong i dont want to kill u. but i can see where ur dads coming from. by the way i like ur style. too bad u didnt invent it but its good nethertheless
i’m glad you find it amusing. i’m not saying it sarcastically, by the way. a lot can be lost in the translation over the internet.
i can see where dad is coming from though i think my words were vague enough that the situation was misunderstood. dad wants to kill two people, none of them me. they are supposed to die if i kill myself. thus, i haven’t killed myself. simple, no?