i've royally screwed myself over if i have to go on naltrexone again. i couldn't breathe so i hurt myself. tried calling my therapist but didn't make the call urgent so it wouldn't page her. i don't want to wake her up. so, kept up my part of the deal.
it just hit me. i'm not sure what. it just hurts. my chest hurts. my throat aches.
i was listening to the dresden dolls and just crying. not a lot but i hate crying. i was taught that if i cried i was being manipulative.
my brother called from rome. he's having a good time. it was so good to hear his voice.
i've just been coding until i can barely see straight. maybe that will help. i just want to write and write code until i disappear into a query or perhaps get exited out.
