i've not been keeping up with everyone. i sleep until afternoon and then i lose myself in coding. my life has just been one big blur of wakecodecodecodepostonshcodesleep. my mother has been furious at me for staying up until past 3am. i can't keep this up when school starts. i should actually register for my classes instead of fucking around doing nothing. i've not even been writing much or doing digital art. it feels like my inspiration has gone off and taken a vacation.
dad visits most days. my therapist doesn't approve of this. i know it's not the way things are supposed to be because he's supposed to "learn" what it's like without us. haha.
my brother sent me an e-mail. he was in switzerland and now he's in spain. he doesn't seem to like spain much. i miss him.
yeah, dad would probably never kill anyone. he would if i killed myself. he's promised me that. my duty is to live so that those two will be all right.


I see that man going back down with a heavy yet measured step toward the torment of which he will never know the end. That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. At each of those moments when he leaves the heights and gradually sinks toward the lairs of the gods, he is superior to his fate. He is stronger than his rock.
albert camus? interesting quote.