i'm so tired. oh so tired. school doesn't end 'till about december 20th and i'm still here. i'm burned out and cranky. i finally have something new that i'm writing. not a lot so far but a little. it's better than nothing. or so i tell myself.
i finally finished as i lay dying (william faulkner), now we're on adrienne rich. thank fucking god for poetry. i've fallen in love with mina loy. amazing, beautiful, the imagery is stunning. it makes me want to read her poetry to him over and over again.
haha. round five million. i've skipped the last three classes. fuck, i'm ruining everything. we read the waste land by t.s. eliot and it was obscure but some of the lines are beautiful. beauty mixed with eliot's elitism makes for pure gold.
my doctor told me my diagnosis. i'm not surprised but i wish it were anything else. it feels like a death sentence, especially as it gets harder and harder to go to school.
i'm sort of annoyed at the people who bitch about bloggers like me. i'm supposed to be witty and entertaining and definitely not have all this life experience (which, of course, i must be making up) or be 'emo'. i have no comeback to that.
exhausted. i'm not feeling up to par tonight. i should release the next version of phpfan and finally get some scripting done. i have a weekend without major work to be done for university.
Wow, found this site while perusing google images under the search for “fucked up”. Very interesting. I saw the doctor and hospital comments and just thouht I’d comment. About a year and a half ago I was diagnosed with leukemia and told I didn’t have good chance, went through chemo but it came back, then went through chemo and radiation to get a bone marrow transplant. Yes, it sucked. Yes i was told I had a 1%-10% chance of surviving more than a year or two. That sucked too. I am now in remission and have almost a year out from my transplant and at 30 find myself in a very strange place in life. Anyways … It seems you are bright enough to know this already but I thought I would say it anyways, Nature is not cruel. We are a part of nature, no matter how “advanced” we have become as a species. An finally, everything is going to be alright. Good luck to you, whatever your condition/diagnosis is etc. and may i add that it is always nice to see another human being who appears to have a passion for art and philosphy, as current society puts such a high premium on other much less substantial interests (Stock matket anyone?) Once again, good luck.