It’s funny. I spent most of last summer half in love with a friend of mine and a few days ago he approaches me with a question. One that shook me up. I don’t regret completely cutting off those feelings for him or making myself see him as only a friend. I just didn’t know how to respond because I used to be infatuated with him and couldn’t just brush him off as I’ve done with other men. I didn’t say, ‘No, been there, done that,’ but I couldn’t say yes, as tempting as it was. I don’t trust myself with a no strings attached relationship, especially with somebody I had deeper feelings for.

I’ve been thinking on expanding what I call the semi-incestuous story. I turned it in for workshopping but I wonder if it needs more of an ending, a high point to what really isn’t action filled. It was orginally a piece of fanfiction until I realized even though some details were right the characters were nothing like their counterparts in the original work. I did rewrite the last scene almost completely, added more clarification and small scenes, and did some edits. It feels incomplete, though. I just don’t know what to do with it or if I should just dump it in an unused folder on my computer and forget about it after it’s workshopped. The details and interactions feel right, the plot – or lack of it – don’t.

Forgetting about old writing is almost a hobby of mine. I put the writing away, come across it months or years later, and marvel at how terrible it is. I rarely find it within me to take a fresh approach to it. I think that’s a bad sign.